Lots of things have happened in the last few years. The world, like a pokémon, is evolving and every time you think you know everything Gary motherfucking Oak, steps in and drops a bomb about some sort of new rare pokémon on the other side of the island, and there are no fucking roads from one town to the next. What’s up with that shit?!?!
So you work your way through the jungle and trees, or forest or whatever, and you run into some random asshat who feels like battling you. Your all like “no fucking way, all I want to do is get to some random town on the other side of the island, I don’t want to battle some asshat”. But he insists so you battle his ass to shut him up.
Then your stupid disobedient Pikachu does some dumb fuck move and ends up hurting himself, so now you’ve gotta head a different direction to some medical center. You end up running into that same damn nurse from some sort of sexy inbred nurses guild and she’s such a fucking tease, but she never gives it up. What is up with that shit?
So then, you get all hard and rub against your pants while this nurse brings your stupid lighting rabbit back to health. All you have to do is wander around town and get picked on and get in fights. When do you ever eat!?!? You like never sleep or eat, it’s crazy, and why, seriously, why are their no roads between towns, or cars!??! How do goods get transported from one area to the other?
So your dumb yellow rabbit is finally healed, and you get a call from Gary Oak with more information on that rare pokémon which for some reason never existed before the other day, but you have no idea what day it is since you haven’t slept or aten in multiple episodes. Gary is all like “yo bishes, I got more information for your sorry asses, you should go see my cousin who’s really actually me, but I’m not going to tell you that shit”
So now you’ve gotta work your way to some laboratory in the middle of some random forest, but who knows what direction your traveling since you never look at a fucking map, you just KNOW where to go. Perhaps while your there you can change your clothes for once since you were the same thing everyday. I mean common, who is your fashion consultant!
So you roll into Gary Oak’s light house by the ocean, I don’t have a fucking clue how he affords this shit, but for some reason he has many lighthouses, or it’s the same one and you just some how can walk to it every ten minutes no matter where you are. He then feeds you this bullshit about some sort of new stupid animal, blah blah blah, fuck off gary, seriously, give me more pokéballs before I kick you in yours, nice girth.
Where are you now, like what world is this, and how come you completely forgot about going to the other side of the island? Is that a far walk, it’s gotta be if your some 12 year old boy that collects animals which are rare species and for some reason you are legally allowed to capture them. It’s just fucking cock fighting for kids, I mean you capture an animal in a ball (cage) then ignore it for a while in your backpack (shed) and then people battle you (fight) and someone loses and get eaten.
So now your back on track to where ever you were going before, no food, no sleep, no shower, no darkness, and no money. What’s up with that shit. No fucking directions, no roads, just blind, endless wandering. I wish I was as random, why don’t you AGE!?!? Get older already, fuck.
So you get there, you finally somehow arrive to your destination and you just throw a ball at the animal, capture it. How anti climatic. Now it’s yours to murder.
The world is strange, I don’t quite seem to understand how people live and die. There’s billions of us, and so few in the world seem to want to share their lives, and experiences. They may not be special, they may not be interesting, but the define who you are!
James and I have explored Ontario in the very same way. These photo captures are random adventures. They are our pokéballs, little snippets of fun and obscurity from all sorts of just mindless wandering. Sure we never battled, but were working on our skills. I’m glad this game doesn’t involve any dice or card trading.
If it did have trading cards, I think my stats would be:
You know, I’ve always wanted Lambo doors, I love the exoticness of putting them on the dumbest cars ever. Something about a $50 car trying to look like a fiberglass, leather, bull machine that really makes the $50 car way cooler than the lime green parking spot ornament. Something about exotic cars reminds me of cheap Christmas decorations. They really do nothing unless they look like a mistletoe.
A lot of people ask me what Speed Hero is. Well it’s not me, I’m not the hero of speed. Please don’t email me saying “what’s up Speed Hero”. I won’t know who you’re talking to.
Speed Hero is a spirit. It’s a lifestyle of exploration, open minds and fun, it’s about the interest in Car Culture, and how it affects your life. Everyone is a speed hero if they participate in these activities. It’s not about being the fastest, the coolest or the smartest, it’s about having the most fun, about seeing something new, and really digging into the depths of the culture around you.
I’m sorry Escort GT’s with body kits and Sub’s aren’t fast, it doesn’t make you a car person. Sure you like cars, but you don’t know about them. This blog doesn’t exists to tell you your doing it wrong, it’s just here to let you know there are other way to enjoy automobiles.
I love Kei Cars with a Passion. They make sense, and it’s frustrating that they don’t have some sort of tax break or even sales in Canada or North America. They are light, nimble, great on fuel, easy to maintain, and very versatile!
There is an assload of photos from the ’07 CSCS found here: